A Love Insomnia…

I can’t sleep…. I don’t know whats been happening to me lately. Every time I close my eyes, all I can imagine is her beautiful face and those tiny blunt eyes, which seem like they’ve closed everytime she smiles. All I do is wonder. So as to what is it that she’s doing right now, is she thinking about me as well. Does she ever think about me the way I think about her. There’s just something about her. Its really hard to explain at this very moment as to is going on my mind right now. I feel restless beyond the usual. I want to just go under her apartment and shout her name out loud while she looks down her window at me, almost amused and confused. I would just about give up anything right now, to just be able to see her smile at me when I tell her that I’m falling for her with every naive second that passes by. Then I wonder as to what she must be doing right now, may be she’s reading this. I hope she reads this. Its a very fragile part of me I’m processing here I know, but I don’t see a better way to tell her. To tell her that all I searched for, I found in her. All that I ever knew, I started to believe because of her. Its almost impossible, how she’s always right about everything. This might just drive her away from me as well. I’m really scared. I can feel the shivers in my almost crippled heart, paralysed with the love I’m saving for you. I don’t need much honestly, just a loving heart to love. A spark to reignite that fire, others extinguished. A fire that I promise will keep you warm on those cold nights, for till time will spare me. These lucid thoughts are just revolving vigorously inside my mind. These thoughts are of you, about you and for you. I don’t really know what this action’s reaction will be. But I’m touching all the wood around me for sure, in hope. I see vivid images of her, sometimes standing, some seated. She’s laughing and smiling in mostly. I guess because thats who she is to me, my strength and my happiness. She makes me want to calm down. To feel, to breathe everything in, to see things from a perspective I never knew existed. Its funny how I imagine her waking up every morning with those sparkling eyes opening like the wings of a new born butterfly for the first time, with a sense of utter and intense liberation from the seen. The world is such a better place to live just by knowing she’s somewhere around and that I will see her soon. But still somehow, I don’t know why I can’t sleep, all I think of is how she is and how beautiful she looks in those sweatpants. She’d never know, its a secret I hold with myself, only to soak all that radiance of beauty from her, its mesmerising to see her smile, to see her talk sense into me. I need her so much right now, that my body refuses to shut down. She’s like this emotional reboot to me everytime I think of her. My nights are occupied
In her wanderlust, and the mind in a love insomnia.

?…..

A combination of words with a sign at the end,
Can be so powerful and make your thoughts bend,
Sometimes so calm, sometimes of a trend,
A clear but blurred, message is what we send….

This sign isn’t a gift from the Above or Higher,
But probably concieved by a merchant buyer,
Or a lover perhaps who starts with an ‘do’ and ends with a stutter,
But then again I think in vain, its sex in fact was definitely fairer….

Scratching my head I shall speak again,
Rhetorical or intended, this tough bargain,
Who invented this sign resulting in cerebral pain?
Einstein or Franklin, whoever sure made a hell of a gain….

Sometimes its humour, sometimes so serious,
It sure seems like The Devil, so devious,
Deceptive some say, its very obvious,
Leaves a scar in your thoughts, so bloody abnoxious….

With the looks of a plump boy, who thought of this sign?
Should’ve seen a pretty girl, before finalising the design,
You must not try and undermine, its power divine,
As it can even make, your boss resign….

It may be a call or may be a test,
Sometimes it can put your life at rest,
I’m still unable figure the beauty of, how it ceases to exist?
A question still left, at a question mark at best….